In matters of love and marriage, we often picture lifelong happiness and picture-perfect endings. But reality doesn’t always follow the fairy tale—sometimes, relationships fade or take turns no one saw coming. And occasionally, a breakup can turn into something downright hilarious. This story captures that perfectly: a husband’s serious goodbye letter sparks an epic, witty response from his sharp-tongued wife.
After feeling dissatisfied in his marriage, a husband decided to end things once and for all. Wanting to “ease the pain,” he wrote what he thought was a sincere, thoughtful letter to his wife:
Dear Wife,
I’m leaving you for good. I’ve tried to be a good husband throughout our 7 years of marriage, but I feel like I have nothing to show for it. The past couple of weeks have been especially rough. When you quit your job, I realized I couldn’t take it anymore.Last week, I got a new haircut, made your favorite dinner, and even bought new silk boxers. You didn’t notice a thing—barely ate, watched your TV shows, and went straight to bed. You don’t say you love me, you don’t want closeness, and we’ve lost what made us a couple.
Either you’ve found someone else, or you just don’t care anymore. Either way, I’m done.
Your Ex-Husband.
P.S. Don’t bother looking for me. Your SISTER and I are heading to West Virginia. Take care!
To his surprise, his wife didn’t cry, plead, or even call. Instead, she wrote a reply that turned the entire situation on its head:
Dear Ex-Husband,
Your letter absolutely made my day! Yes, we’ve been married 7 years—but calling yourself a “good man” might be a stretch. I watch my shows not to ignore you, but to survive the sound of your endless complaints.About your haircut—I did see it. It reminded me of my best friend’s teenage daughter, but I stayed quiet to spare your feelings.
That dinner you mentioned? Must’ve been for someone else, because I haven’t eaten pork in years.
And those silk boxers? The $49.99 tag was a dead giveaway, especially since my sister borrowed $50 that same morning.
The funny thing is, I still believed we could fix things. I even quit my job after winning 10 million dollars in the lottery. My plan was to surprise you with two tickets to Jamaica—but when I got home, you were gone.
Life’s timing is beautiful, isn’t it? Thanks to your note, my lawyer says you won’t get a single cent.
Sincerely, Your Ex-Wife, Happier and Richer!
P.S. My “sister” Carla was born Carl. Hope that’s not too shocking!
Relationships don’t always end as planned—but this story shows how wit, strength, and a sense of humor can flip even heartbreak into triumph. What started as a bitter goodbye became a reminder that sometimes, laughter really is the best revenge—and self-worth is the richest reward of all.
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