When You Scratch a Tesla, When You Burn a Tesla, Just Remember: Elon Didn’t Assemble the Car—Hardworking Americans Did

So, you scratched your Tesla. Maybe you misjudged the garage entrance, maybe a rogue shopping cart launched itself at your fender, or maybe—just maybe—you wanted to test the durability of that “Armor Glass” technology Elon bragged about. Whatever the case, your sleek, self-driving, AI-powered, government-subsidized electric chariot now has a battle scar.

Before you take to Twitter (sorry, X) to rage about how a car worth more than a college education isn’t scratch-proof, take a deep breath. Elon Musk didn’t personally screw in those panels. He wasn’t in the Fremont factory, meticulously installing your falcon-wing doors between launching rockets and beefing with Mark Zuckerberg. No, my friend—your Tesla was assembled by the same kind of hardworking Americans who have been building cars for over a century.

The Real Heroes Behind Your Electric Stallion

These are the men and women who sweat under factory lights, assembling battery packs so your Model 3 can shun gasoline like a vegan shuns dairy. They are the backbone of the so-called “future of transportation.” They’re the ones ensuring that your door handles sometimes pop out when you approach. They’re the reason your Cybertruck’s stainless steel exterior looks like a refrigerator on steroids.

They work long shifts, endure Twitter-fueled production demands, and make sure that when your Tesla decides to spontaneously combust, it at least does so with style.

Oh, You Burned a Tesla? That’s Bold.

Let’s say you didn’t just scratch your Tesla—you went full medieval and set it ablaze. Perhaps in protest of AI taking over, or maybe just for some sweet, sweet internet clout. You might feel victorious as you watch the lithium-ion battery erupt like a Fourth of July fireworks show, but remember: that car wasn’t assembled by a billionaire with a flamethrower. It was built by Americans with rent to pay and mortgages to manage.

Elon may take the credit for revolutionizing transportation, but he’s not the one assembling your seats, painting your panels, or nervously hoping the autopilot system doesn’t mistake a truck for a clear road.

The Real Takeaway

Next time you feel the urge to key a Tesla, burn a Tesla, or complain about your Tesla on a platform that Elon now technically owns, just remember: It wasn’t the billionaire who built it. It was hardworking folks who, like you, are just trying to get by.

So maybe—just maybe—direct that rage elsewhere. Like, I don’t know, at the price of replacement parts.