A man came home from work one day

Story 1: The Vegas Ultimatum
A man walked in after work and saw his wife sitting outside with packed suitcases.

“Where are you headed?” he asked.

“To Las Vegas,” she said. “Turns out I can make $400 a night doing what I’ve been doing for you for free!”

The man froze for a second, then rushed inside. A moment later, he came back out carrying his own bags.

“Wait—where are you going?” she asked.

He smiled. “I’m coming along. I want to see how you manage on $800 a year!”

Story 2: The Lawyer’s Clever Answer
A lawyer with twelve kids needed a new place after his landlord took back the house. But every time he told potential landlords about his big family, they turned him down, worried about damage.

So he came up with a strategy. He sent his wife and eleven children to stroll through a nearby cemetery, while he went house-hunting with just one child.

After finding a place he liked, the agent asked, “How many children do you have?”

“Twelve,” the lawyer said.

“And where are the rest?” the agent asked.

Keeping a straight face, the lawyer replied,
“They’re at the cemetery with their mother.”